How Narcissists Lure Partners with 'Future Faking'

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Most people don’t start planning a wedding after one date. But to attract a partner, narcissists might spin elaborate visions of a romantic future together. This is why it often works.

Imagine you are ready for a serious relationship and you meet this very appealing person on a first date. Everything moves fast. By your second or third date, this new person seems wildly in love with you. He or she praises everything about you. Your new lover has already decided that the two of you are the perfect couple and to your surprise, starts planning a future with you.

You may be a bit hesitant. After all, you barely know this person. You are thinking: “Isn’t this too soon to make this type of commitment?" But, on the other hand, it is nice to finally be in the company of someone who seems to really like you. This is all done so convincingly that you to start to buy into the vision and begin to imagine a possible future together—a future with no more bad dates and no more wondering whether your date really likes you as much as you like him or her. So, you decide to go with the flow and see what happens next. You do not want to risk missing out on true love by being too skeptical.

Now this person whom you hardly know starts describing the great times the two of you will have this summer. Your lover describes in vivid detail all the amazing things the two of you will do together—the romantic walks along the beach, the trips you will take, and even relatives and close friends that he or she wants you to meet. You get caught up in it and invite this person to be your plus one at a family wedding in two months’ time and your new lover immediately agrees.

 

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