How 2020 Presidential Candidates Can Raise Their Polling Numbers

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With seemingly every new poll showing changes in the Democratic race and competitive polling between leading Democratic challengers and President Trump, every campaign is searching for ways to improve its polling numbers. The Onion breaks down what each candidate can do to get their numbers up.

With seemingly every new poll showing changes in the Democratic race and competitive polling between leading Democratic challengers and President Trump, every campaign is searching for ways to improve its polling numbers.Remind voters he’s only had two previous presidential campaigns to figure this all out.

Ramp up outreach to the chronically ignored demographic of MSNBC and CNN pundits.What do you have to lose? Bump it to 2K a month.Emphasize background running profitable healthcare company to ensure Americans firmly associate him with current state of nation’s healthcare.Pace herself while rest of the candidates who don’t stand for anything drop out.Share This Story

 

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Beto?

Kamala Harris: Pace herself while rest of the candidates who don’t stand for anything drop out. ... dead

Was that supposed to be funny? Sarcastic? Maybe a few lessons from Chappel will help

For my YangGang

Yo the tom sayer one is hilarious

You guys might not be too far off with AndrewYang . ;)

TrumpSharpie Easy breezy, write whatever the poll numbers you like with Trump's Magic Sharpie.

NGL, that actually would bolster my support for Warren.

YangGang

The last 2 😂😂

Bernie Sanders: Ramp up outreach to the chronically ignored demographic of MSNBC and CNN pundits

They should try talking about how being wealthy makes them the most qualified in understanding the hardships of the poor and homeless. That should help.

Every presidential campaign is searching for ways to improve its polling numbers. The Onion breaks down what each candidate can do to get their numbers up.

These should work for everyone except John Delaney.

Oh, I'm glad the number of candidates has finally dropped below 2021. Now I can finally start narrowing my selection down to about 200.

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