Horrified Biden Family Discovers Rotting, Months-Old Corpse Of Jeff Sessions In White House Executive Residence

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 1 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 4%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

All the latest politics coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

BudGothmog44 He died inside four years ago.

I was wondering what happened to him

That is not the only body they will find.

It's beautiful to laugh instead of weep at our national politics. Welcome back The Onion!

tejasjulia How could anyone tell the difference?

MisanthropicBy6 😆😆😆

This is tooo funnny!!

It’s 6am and I just woke everyone up in the house for laughing out loud at this! Thanks for that.

sadsthinkyourfunny

shewhoisAna 😁😄😅😂

Anything could fall out of the White House closets after the Valdemort family had been there. Hope the cleaning crew did their jobs.

“Rotting corpse” and “Jeff Sessions” are redundant.

It’s going to be great not wondering if you’re reading a article or not when there’s breaking news about the prez

That’s where he’s been!

😂

I got a notification and didn't notice it was from the onion and i got really weirded out. Interesting, but funny haha, thanks for the laugh i guess.

Ahahahahaha!

Onion has been on fire today.

gotmtv So... just another Wednesday drama in the White House. Glad the Trump error is over.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Gross

I missed these onion articles.

shinyliterary

RexChapman The Onion is back & I can tell it’s The Onion!

capeannsky Oh my God 😂😂😂

lehmannchris Jeff Who?

AdrienneMahsa

owillis ...that would explain a lot, admittedly.

RobinLuvsDisney BolleyAli 🤣🤣🤣

RexChapman Fake news! Missed you guys. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ah crap dose this mean they can’t make anymore lord of the rings movies ?

And ignorant skid marks in all the toilets.

You’re killing me, Onion!

The Onion is back baby!

jrsestaca EVIDEGARAY QueImportaTV

Thank you!!!

Breaking- Nuclear Football being transferred by Proud Boys Courier Service has still not arrived in Washington.

I should not laugh at this, but here I am laughing at this.

DanCas2 lmfao funny as hell 😂

So harsh

Elf, shelved.

He must have finally tried the reefer.

Isn't that the same pic from trump's Christmas card?

I’m dyin! I’m dyin here! 😂😂😂😂😂

Oh good! We get back! It’ll be nice to have grown ups in the WhiteHouse again!

His family just arrived to claim the body.

Who was that again?

...aaaaand the Onion is BACK. 😂😂😂

dark

Cleaners miss this room?

He died three years ago.

I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire.

I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire! 😂😂😂

You guys are on fire today! Thanks for the laughs.

He appears to have overdosed on the reefer.

But it really tied the room together...

shit. you made me lol so hard. winnar

EyesOnTheRight How could they tell he was dead

Shouldn't have smoked the reefer.

maids find out someone has taken several 'upper deckers' in toilets around the white house.

To be fair he was already rotting while he was still alive.

So close. Would have been funnier (and more accurate) if it was rotting Incle Sam’s corpse. 🤷🏻‍♂️

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.