This week, the company that sells those weird chalky candies that only pop up around Valentine’s Day introduced its new line-up of conversation hearts slogans, and y’all, they are bleak.16 different slogans
, ranging from the usual suspects like “BE MINE” to a series of “uplifting new sayings” for these troubled times, including “CHIN UP,” and “PUSH THRU.” If that weren’t depressing enough, the company is also promoting these new slogans with a Facebookthat encourages people to “nominate someone who could use a boost or has supported you over the years — a coach, teacher, mentor, sibling, or parent.
Here at Eater, we believe that we deserve better from Sweethearts. If conversation hearts can’t taste good, at least they can have messages that are actually relevant to the pandemic-era human condition. Without further ado, here’s a list of 16 slogans that are decidedly more appropriate for these times, but just as dispiriting as “PUSH THRU” or “FEAR LESS.”
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