I am getting engaged to my boyfriend of two years, which I am very happy about. But the women in his family concern me. His mom, sister, and I don’t click well. My therapist said they sound narcissistic and bring drama. I have two sisters I get along well with and plan to have as bridesmaids. My boyfriend and I think it’s best to make his sister a groomswoman. I know the two women want to be involved but I’m trying to decide my limits.
To be fair, this is a bit worse than usual. I have coping mechanisms that work OK. I’m not depressed: not apathetic/suicidal, still love doing my hobbies when I can convince myself to, have a fulfilling part-time job, etc. My life is good overall! But days like this come along often, and I’m constantly behind in school, disappointing my friends, and never sleeping enough.
Meditation might help. I recently learned that it’s not just about calming you down. The whole practice of calmly noticing what you’re thinking and sitting there, not doing anything about it can teach you to do the same in your regular life. You just need to train yourself to create a little pause between the feeling, “Jesus Christ, there are socks on the floor” and the dramatic, “What the hell is wrong with you?” sigh. Practicing mindfulness could be one way to do it.
Other than that, you might just be a bit of a grump. Which is not illegal. You could, of course, test out some of the familiar, tried-and-true tactics for shaking off a sullen or stressed mood . But an occasional bad mood isn’t an attack on your partner, especially if you’re able to remind them that it’s not about them. As long as you aren’t lashing out or being unkind, let yourself sulk when you need to.
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