‘He’s Got The Mulan Virus!’ Yells Don Jr. Attempting To Quarantine Eric By Duct Taping Garbage Bag Over Head

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WASHINGTON—Kicking and punching his brother in an effort to fight the “Germans” [sic] that were swarming all over his sibling’s body, Donald Trump Jr. reportedly yelled, “He’s got the Mulan virus!” Thursday while attempting to quarantine Eric Trump by duct taping a garbage bag over his brother’s head. “Oh my God, ew, ew, ew! Eric, do you have the Mulan Virus?” said a horrified Don Jr., who, after sticking his hand into his brother’s mouth to take his temperature, screamed and immediately sprayed an “antelope” [sic] of Lysol down Eric’s throat. “If you don’t fight the Mulan virus soon, you could invest [sic] everyone and start a worldwide academic [sic]. Seriously! Okay, now just stay still while I put a bag over my own head.” At press time, Don Jr. was attempting to create some air holes for his younger brother by repeatedly stabbing the garbage bag with a compass.

 

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Reminds me of SCP-5004

Barely satire, so close to reality

I miss the days when there was a clear line between satire and the real world...

i miss when you did satire

Once it was an onion article, now we're living it...

Unfortunately that sounds just like another day at the Trumps, except that Eric would never get close enough to Don Jr for him to do that.

Won't Mulan's Dragon just burn the garbage bag?

If it works, it works

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Because they’re stupid.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump centuriusm22

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump This would be hilarious if it didn't seem so plausible,,,

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Oh Don, i think your dad was coughing afew minutes ago...

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Everyone knows Sriracha is the cure!

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Mulan virus! 😂

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Did you hear vindman was fired. Just escorted off the premises of the White House. So now it begins… vengeance time from this pig

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump 😂😂😂

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Sadly, his wife also makes him wear a bag during sex.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Anyone else read that in Early Cuyler’s voice?

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Wondering right now if there's a family rate for such a preventative treatment.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Onion is so bad, TheBabylonBee has eclipsed the x100

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Bagged the garbage,eh?

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump This actually happened and you can't tell me otherwise.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Better safe than sorry. The boy done good!

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Still better than the gop plan for healthcare.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Kids smh

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Good thing we put that tag on him!

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Jr is doing it wrong, the bag goes over his head

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump C'mon, get down with the sickness.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Yeah great roll models for our children.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump I thought it was the Wu Tang virus.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump To be fair, they do that most days.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump What an idiot. I can't believe this.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump taggart44

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Cover him in Szechuan sauce!! That'll stop the sickness!

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Again, the Onion headlines are not crazy enough to beat out reality.

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump I love , a big smile...always

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump 'Pa! Grab me my hunting rifle!'

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump it hurts laughing, the Mulan virus

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump How else do you do it?

Mulan virus I'm

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump Would've gone with Mulan Flu lmao

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

DonaldJTrumpJr EricTrump let's get down to business to infect the huns

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