Harriette Cole: Nobody told me they could see my private files

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I’m mortified. Should I ask them what they saw?

Instead, delete all of your files from the family computer. Make sure you permanently delete them all from the device, and do not make the mistake of downloading them there again.

If there’s something in particular that worries you that may have been seen, be on the lookout for a comment that may reveal that. Decide at the moment if you want to address the issue or let it be. I recommend handling these incidents on a one-on-one basis.She is incredibly successful in the field that I aspire to work in, but she is from a different time. A lot of the steps that she took to get to where she is today wouldn’t work for me.

I’ll go to her for advice about new opportunities I’ve been offered, but she will usually discourage me from taking them on. I still regret not taking my chances on some of those opportunities.MenteeYou may not need to walk away from your current mentor, as she does have insights about how things have been done that may be wise to have in your toolbox, but you need someone who is more familiar with the way your industry works today.

Look around to see who stands out in your field, and reach out to that person to see if you can begin a conversation. Establishing a relationship with a mentor can take time. Be patient and strategic as you look to identify someone to fill that role. Meanwhile, remember that in the end, you have to make your own decisions. It is smart to listen to counsel from people you respect, but the way to reduce your regrets is to evaluate the advice you are given against your own personal and professional yardstick and make your own decisions. Your mentor cannot do that for you.

 

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