Harriette Cole: My fiancee has cut me out of our wedding plans

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She won’t let me have input on anything, not even the food.

Put your foot down and make it clear that you are not OK with her taking over entirely. Tell her the things you want to be a part of, including food tastings, decor, music and whatever else you fancy.

You may also want to enlist the support of a marriage counselor. Engaged couples are advised to do this anyway, so that you can sort through your ideas about marriage, family and overall values. You can include talking about shared responsibilities for your wedding and your life. Your fiancee’s controlling behavior around the wedding could point to similar behavior in the future.

I recommend that you talk through this and determine a way forward that is more inclusive of both of your voices.At the orientation, the higher-ups shared a number of important rules and guidelines with the new hires, but I seem to be the only employee who’s following them. My co-workers seem to do whatever they want at all times, and they rarely meet sales goals.

The environment is definitely hurting my productivity at work. I am a hard worker, and I always want to do a good job — regardless of what others have going on. I’m starting to think that maybe I’m at the wrong company. What should I do?Compete with yourself to remain productive and proactive. Establish goals for yourself based on the company guidelines and your understanding of what productivity means there. Don’t brag about your plans. Instead, focus on getting the work done.

You will also need to establish rapport with your co-workers. While you may consider them unproductive, being part of the team is an important component to a positive work experience. Observe how they get along, and figure out ways that you can interact meaningfully with them while still getting your work done. All of this will keep you so busy that you should stay motivated, at least in the short term.

 

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