Growing Up Without Healthy Emotional Boundaries

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How therapy can help you heal from the long-term harm caused by not getting your emotional needs met as a child, writes GroverSean

No parent sets out to sabotage their child's development. But when a parent fails to provide healthy emotional boundaries, they unwittingly cause lasting damage to their children's ability to trust others and embraceAs children mature, they naturally seek independence. From the moment they learn to walk, they delight in autonomy. Parents with healthy emotional boundaries become cheerleaders for their children as they strive for independence.

This process, known as separation, individuation, is key to a child developing a strong sense of self.Unfortunately, many parents who experienced emotional neglect in theirare often saddled with unmet emotional needs. Long after childhood, they continue to struggle with feeling incomplete and unappreciated.

In an attempt to resolve those gaps in their development, parents may affix their yearning for unconditional love to their children. In a strange turn of events, they seek adoration, approval, and affection from their child. During early childhood, when their child is very young and relies on them, they feel nourished by the child's dependence. However, as their child enters the separation, individuation phase and craves more freedom, such parents start to feel rejected by their child. To quell their, they begin to discourage their child's efforts toward independence; they want to keep their child attached to them.

Rather than celebrate separation, individuation, such parents see it as a threat. They feel abandoned and betrayed by their child, and start to criticize,

 

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