Gates Foundation Pledges $25 Billion To Eradicate Whatever Disease Drives People To Support Taxing The Rich

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SEATTLE—Declaring they would stop at nothing to ensure the ailment was wiped out, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation reportedly pledged $25 billion Thursday toward eradicating whatever disease drives people to support taxing the rich. “It’s heartbreaking to see so many afflicted people driven to delusions that wealthy people should pay higher taxes, and I intend to do everything I can to ensure it doesn’t become a nationwide epidemic,” said Bill Gates of his donation to study what caused this frightening disease and embark on cutting-edge research to find a permanent cure. “We must eradicate this pandemic, which is affecting so many young people in the prime of their lives. While experts told us this illness was considered eliminated in the 1980s, we clearly grew complacent and allowed it to return. We should not have to live in a country where lives are ravaged by the sick thoughts that wealthy people in some way owe their fortunes to other people’s work and should return their excessive riches to the common good. Once we open our new state-of-the-art facility in Asheville, NC, we’ll be able to end this tragedy before it claims any more impressionable lives.” Gates added that his donation was matched by contributions from several other wealthy Americans concerned by the spread of this mental disease, including Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, and the Walton family.

 

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flesh-eating bacteria

cmac324 Hahahaha

TheVunderkind Lmaooo shaaadddddeeee

veggie64_leslie Unacceptable! We need $100B from him

I read in his reddit AMA that he supports taxing the rich higher (about 9 months ago). Did he recently say something to negate that?

🙈🙉🙊

It's called jealousy

fbihop

😂😂

Listen to me, I'm filthy rich.

Hey, Warren Buffett will finally be happy. He's always complained that his secretary pays a higher %age than he does/ DID. Now she won't. I'd like to know who is going to do all these timely 'audits' of .. international real estate, cars,private partnerships, businesses, etc

affluenza.

You all are fantastic. I will make you all federally funded before making you a national agency.

Yeah, it's called 'capitalism'

Being poor?

...realization that too many hours playing violent games on-line leads to living in mom's basement to age 50, and gaining 50 pounds, shocks foundation executives, because of the obvious correlation between both statistics being equal to a sum of 100...

You guys rock man

Cake Eaters Disease....

Now that's funny

I’m sure they’ll be some “administrative overhead” amerite?

Funds a new kind of talk radio host that appeals to Berners. Is disappointed when Bernie is still elected! Remember Seattle!

Try $106 billion

It's a epidemic... he needs to move fast and look for help in other's open minded people like him

Bruceisabadper1

Bill Gates here is a shining example of what billion years can give away just out of the kindness of their own heart what is the point of demonizing them and calling them greedy and everything When he just gave away $35 billion and 25 billion I’m top of that.

LAM_Barrett It’s a terrible disease: democracy. /s

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bill Gates is against common sense.

Honestly if this was real I almost wouldn't be surprised. They act like they want higher taxes until it seems like they might actually get them.

Peel that, you Onion

I love it 🤣

It’s called rich people

What an ass

'We should not have to live in a country where lives are ravaged by the sick thoughts that wealthy people in some way owe their fortunes to other people’s work and should return their excessive riches to the common good.' FakeButTrue

LaceyVoteDem Gates trying to figure out how to stop smartphones & internet browsers - Netscape innovaters were 'scary' because Gates wouldn't be able to sell his PCs & maintain market dominance. In case anyone is still fooling themselves about how this all works.

Wtf😂😂

Episode 45: The Not-So-Benevolent Billionaire (Part I) — Bill Gates and Western Media

BrianSachs Jealousy?

jonjones That doesn't sound like Gates.

socialAk47 Warren got your back Bill..

Lolz

Bill Gates is a hoe for money.

jonjones Since it’s poverty, that sounds right

This is completely ridiculous. Fake news BS!

Heh, he's got the fever himself tho, supports higher taxes for the wealthy:

The deadly disease that if not treated right away, would cause the carriers of the disease to eat the rich.

mrfeelswildride Vox

It's called liberalism. LiberalismIsAMentalDisorder

Taxation is theft.

Damn, when did Gates become Woody Allen?

It's a disease called Leftism and it's a real mental disorder.

Lots of these comments gobbling this onion up and chasing it with a shot of horseradish

Bill Gates should be funding anti-aging tech next because holy shit

A disease they got vaccinated for

Clarknova1 Lame

I believe the disease is a bit of laziness crossed with envy

ITT: Billionaire Honor Defenders Assemble!

supergreenmario The deadly disease known as 'common sense'

Geez he’s aged more than his age

Yeah, they are gonna need a lot more than that, like 100 billion.

25 billion is enough to eradicate poverty?

In 1981, he bought the best OS (DOS) for $50,000. For Windows, he stole Xerox's, Apple's, and Comdex's ideas & steamrolled the competition with an army of lawyers. That's not enough life's work to be worth bazillions of dollars. That's more like hitting the jerk lottery twice.

oh shit he’s ending world poverty?

brave

The poor?

Hilarious! 😂

Awwww...Onion...don't pick on my boy, Gates. Love him.

The wait on this post was definitely worth it.

Shareholder uber alles capitalism?

Let them eat cake

Because everyone should understand that 25 bathrooms are ok.

Strangely it's a disease only caught by the poor.

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