” this last time that my dreams might have just been just that — dreams, and not a reality of ever having a daughter.As I sat up through multiple nursing sessions in the first couple of weeks, I prayed, and I don’t mean just like a little prayer. In those moments when you are alone and in pain from a, the real thoughts come out and I’m not at all scared to share them with you. I prayed, as a mother of 3 boys, to find peace.
I was hopeful that God would show me the right path to guide my sons to be respectful members of society and walk by faith in all aspects of their lives. That He would show me exactly how to raise them to be good husbands and fathers. That they would realize the importance to call home to their mama on a regular basis when they get older. But most of all, I prayed for me and my well being. I prayed that my heart would accept that I mayknow what it is like to be a mama to a girl.
We have friends in our circle who have or are struggling with infertility. I have watched their trials of the massive needles, failed pregnancy test, and tons of tears. I do not take this job that I have been given lightly. But what I know is this: other people’s opinions of my feelings do not matter. When you envision something and it does not turn out like you thought, there is a time to grieve that dream, to realize your current situation.
To the lady at Panera … you did not mean to cause any harm. You were the sweetest of ladies and I’m honored that you came over to look at my family. I realize that society does not make it easy when a high volume of ads or television shows contain one girl and one boy and we think that is how all families are supposed to look. See, you are not the first to recognize that my family is filled with boys. In just eight weeks, I’ve heard it all.
So I leave you with this last thought. If you see a family in public that is not “balanced,” smile and tell them how adorable their children are. Compliment the mom on how she’s got her shit together through all of the chaos. Remember that your comment of being a “boy mom” or that “boys are way easier than girls” may actually cut deep into a wound that needs to be healed.
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