Many of us have known at least one on-again-off-again couple who seem to be constantly “on a break.” And while it’s easy to dismiss them as a bit dramatic, maybe we also quietly wonder, ‘do me and my partner need space?’ I mean, what does a “break” even mean? Is it necessarily a bad thing?
A break doesn’t have to mean catastrophe — it can provide the necessary time and space to evaluate the partnership.A break is like putting a bookmark in the relationship, so you can temporarily take a step back and reassess what the partnership means to both of you. “When a couple is having issues, a break can provide evidence of what’s the best decision in terms of the relationship,” says Chlipala.
but stay out of fear. “Fear can look like a lot of different things,” says Chlipala. If you’re staying in the relationship because you’re afraid of being alone or you catastrophize what your life would be like without your current partner, it could be time for a break. “Once you’re on a break, you may realize things aren’t as bad as you thought they would be on your own,” she says.It’s not always easy sharing your life with another person, and you’re inevitably going to run into problems.
As you reflect, try to evaluate the impact of the issues you had. It’s easy to take a partner for granted and only focus on the parts of them that annoy you. “When you’re alone, it can wake you up to what you didn’t appreciate in the moment,” says Chlipala. Maybe they’remuch fun to cook with but it drives you crazy that they never do the dishes.
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