Feeling Guilty in the Bedroom: A Desperate Need for Perspective

I find myself in an absurd situation with my husband and I desperately need some perspective. We met in college and he insisted he was “not the marrying type.” So when we were tying the knot , I was very pleased with myself for taming the lady-killer. While our marriage is happy and the sex is great for me, I’ve always known he isn’t satisfied.

I haven’t told him that I know yet, and I don’t believe he suspects. Our life is otherwise happy.

This could’ve gone very differently if the husband had not gotten married, not agreed to monogamy, not cheated, or even broached the conversation with his wife. Our writer could have said, “No, husband, we’re not getting married or promising each other monogamy because you insist you’re not the marrying type.” But none of that happened. Now they’re here and the situation does seem fine except for this internal consternation that our writer is going through.

So it does have a way of making shit more real in some contexts. And again, this is the kind of thing where there’s no roadmap. Even if there were a roadmap, it would be really hard to follow because people just have different emotional reactions to different things, and you don’t know how you’re going to deal with it until you’re in the thick of it. You can predict it, but you won’t actually know. So it’s a tough thing.

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