Well they predicted it. New York fed announced they're pumpin a trillion a day into banks to keep them afloat
Into 'hedge funds' who have no real client list, to attempt to prop up an already crashed stock market, where corporations which have staggering debts, and no dividends, were selling for absurd prices, some 1,000 X actual values.
Beats the old days, when the printing presses had shredders installed at the end of the run.
Unfortunately this is not a joke and they will keep doing it long after this pandemic is over.
Check with noted financial advisor Eric Trump. He's full of either.
Cubs win the World Series. Donald Trump is elected. The Onion is no longer satire. The end times are here.
Thinking of your comments this week NorthmanTrader
From whence it came.
i ThouGht THE oniOn wAS SATire
If only this were fake 😂
I thought these were supposed to be fake articles?
I thought this was supposed to be satire
I thought this was a satire outfit, why you posting a true story?
Ha!That's nothing, the PENTAGON lost 3 trillion in building 7
Lots of ideas over here that need lots of funding. Walkie talkie chargers could be transformed to coffee cup warmers by converting standard insulated cups.
Your site is supposed to be satire. Don't start running real news on us now.
... but please, tell me again how we can't afford Universal Health Care or to cancel student debt.
Blythe_Gryphon 😆 Funnier if it weren't true.
The dollar is the new penny
just like bloomberg
Give us the UBI not Wall Street!
How is this parody?
Just another example of the government ignoring the money pit to spend our taxes on frivilous policies
Dump it into the Meat Portal instead and see what happens
HenchmanAfk oh, come on, ow.
I thought you turned the billion into trillion for satire purpose but I just remember it wrong apparently
Beer would be Better
is legit news now
Blurring the line between farce, sarcasm, and reality.
“We don’t know where it went or what it’s doing, but we’re sure it’s helping something.”
I WOULD THROW MONEY IN THE HOLE BECAUSE I AM A PATRIOT
Forget COVID-19... Need to fear that Mullet Fever!!! Mulletude is Here! Make America Mullet Again MAMA MULLETUDE MULLET
That’s the new alchemy: turning $$ into $hit.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY COULDA BURNED THAT SHIT AND IT WOULDVE DONE MORE
I thought this was the onion
Why does The Onion only post real stories anymore?
You mean the item used in final fantasy to restore MP? Good move! (jk before anyone thinks i mean that....)
That’s literally what happened. DOW at -2000. Fed made $1.5 trillion announcement. DOW went to -700 for like, and hour, then it sank back down to -2,300. The money literally had no effect in the end. We can measure how useless it was
'We've got this black hole that spontaneously appeared in the treasury building one day and every so often we just dump a few literal tons of paper money in there to see what happens. It hasn't killed us yet so we just keep doing it!'
I needed this laugh right now. Thank you
I was thinking of going long on ethereum too gents curious_twitt rupertstephen10
Finally, a place that the money can go in without the dang dems getting it yee haw!
Bold move
...and now it's gone
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