Father Reminds Child He Should Never Ever Handle Gun Unless He’s Super Bored

JASPER, IN—Stressing the firearm was for “emergencies only,” local father Kenny Webb reminded his son Nolan that he should never ever handle his gun unless he’s super bored, household sources confirmed Tuesday.

“Let me be clear: This gun is not a toy, so you shouldn’t play with it unless you can’t think of anything else to do,” said Webb, who made the 9-year-old promise he would never ever use a kitchen chair to retrieve the pistol from his bedroom closet, which he kept in a red shoebox on the top shelf. “This gun is an absolute last resort. Only take it out if you have exhausted all your video games and movies or if the internet’s running super slow.

Back to school

Not even funny.

when I was a child we played with my family's guns all of the time and we ended up fine.

Best father ever. :)

Or if you're pissed the fuck off and not thinking level headed.

Invite some friends and play hot potato with it. Last one standing wins.

And if he's a really good boy - Santa might have a surprise for him.

You’ll shoot your eye out

This takes it far . This is not funny.

Father should make sure that gun is unloaded and gun and ammunition are locked up in separate purpose made cabinets as soon as possible otherwise consequences dont bear thinking about.

Don never had that talk with Junior.

You did not! 😭

Not funny . Not funny at all. I have a sick sense of humor, but this is no joke.

A gun is not a toy. It is THE toy!

Also true of The Necronomicon.

This is what dad's are for. That, and teaching their son to make fart noises with their armpit. And the part about throwing snow balls at the girl you like.

Argh ...

40% of cops who own guns have kids. Google cops 40%

Loving father

Father Reminds Child That On The Third Day Of Creation, God Created The Remington Bolt-Action Rifle

Sad attempt, TheBabylonBee is killing you guys.

Always check that it's unloaded by looking down the barrel.

And drunk. Bored and drunk best combo for firearm handling. Dip into Papa’s liquor cabinet then juggle the .357. America!

How did you get Wayne LaPierre's family photo album?

... and then the father leaves the house 'to grab a pack of bud lites'

And remember, only play Russian roulette if there's money on the table.

Yeah school's pretty fun

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