We fanny packs lead fascinating and extremely demanding lives, but recently the pressure on our straps has become too much to bear individually. It’s finally time to cinch our bands together. It’s time to share our stories.
In all my years, I’ve never seen anything quite like what is happening to fanny packs today. And, trust me, I have seen the. I’ve hiked the Grand Canyon and vacationed in Fort Lauderdale. I’ve witnessed countless Hampton Inn all-you-can-eat breakfast buffets. You know how many banana-nut muffins I can fit inside me on a good day? Seven! Eight, if you squish ’em. Point is, I supported my owner as he ticked off every item on his retirement bucket list.
I don’t really share much. My daughter says that I have “trauma” from being “overstuffed and underappreciated,” but in my day you would just do the work and wouldn’t complain until your straps snapped! Granted, mine have come close on family amusement-park outings when the kids hang on to me to get their mom’s attention. But that pain gives me a sense of purpose.
Things are kind of going really well for me. Madison and I hit a million followers on TikTok last week! But, even with all that critical acclaim, sometimes I feel like a total fanny hack. It’s like I’m just a prop to promote this artificial version of Madison, or whatever. Like I’m used only to project a manicured image on social media. But I have, O.K.? And, like, I thought this relationship was more than that. Sometimes I wish she had never found me in that Hype House in the first place.
newyorkerhumor 'Fanny' packs are themselves a source of great humour to Brits and Aussies
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
How to see green comet passing Earth for first time in 50,000 yearsYou may be able to spot the object in a clear, moonless sky -- especially with binoculars or a telescope. Hustle Hood ⭕ Heal'n Heart Emerald Eye 🍀 Philly Pop 🏵️ Phoenix
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »
How to watch the 'Green Comet' as it makes closest approach in 50K yearsA recently discovered greenish comet, known as C/2022 E3 (ZTF), is expected to make its closest approach to Earth on Feb. 2, providing a show for skywatchers. BREAKING NEWS: DOJ finds SIX new classified documents at Biden's Delaware mansion: 12-hour search was kept secret as president remains unremorseful and his chief of staff plans to quit. Joe Biden is a total butt-hole! Will find out after 50 years.
Source: FoxNews - 🏆 9. / 87 Read more »
Mayor invokes D.C.’s darkest years at meeting on anxiety over crimeAt a crime summit, Mayor Muriel E. Bowser said the sound of gunfire in D.C. neighborhoods reminds her of the 1990s crack epidemic dclinenews She and the Council better get a handle on this. Not only the egregious gun crimes but the so-called petty crimes like jumping Metro turnstiles. I see that EVERY DAY. I am very, very upset by this. 32 Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. John 6 Captain, the ship is sinking................. My goodness, you're right........oh well............
Source: postlocal - 🏆 327. / 59 Read more »
Three years on, how COVID-19 has changed health careMichel Martin talks with Advocate Health CEO Eugene A. Woods about how COVID-19 has changed health care in the U.S. since its arrival three years ago.
Source: NPRHealth - 🏆 144. / 63 Read more »
Beyoncé Performs in Dubai, Her First Full Concert in Four YearsBeyoncé performed a private concert in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates as part of the launch of new luxury hotel Atlantis the Royal Few things affect me as little as this does. She gonna be cancelled now? FFS… she didn’t need to sell her soul… surely didn’t need the money.
Source: RollingStone - 🏆 483. / 51 Read more »
Texas Border County Commissioner Sentenced to 20 Years in Prison for Federal Bribery CaseA federal judge sentenced a Texas border county commissioner to 20 years in prison for his role in a multi-million-dollar bribery scheme. He sounds like he might have been in a cartel. Good for the judge. Will they investigate Biden for the exact same thing? How is Andrew doing 🤣
Source: BreitbartNews - 🏆 610. / 51 Read more »