Everything We Know About Sidney Powell’s Guilty Plea

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Sidney Powell plead guilty in Georgia for attempting to overturn the 2020 election on behalf of Donald Trump. Here is everything The Onion knows about the former Trump attorney’s guilty plea so far.

She Has To Apologize To A Dominion Voting Machine After causing it considerable emotional harm, Powell now owes the machine system a heartfelt apology. Five-Year Ban From Election Tampering This restriction is for the Federal level only; state and local interference is still permitted. Sex Offender Registration Well, they certainly don’t fuck around in Georgia. She Agreed To Marry Hunter Biden As Part Of Her Plea Deal It may be the only way to bring the nation together.

The Balance Of Democracy Is Cheaper Than A Used Car Powell’s $6,000 fine proved more affordable than a rusted Honda with 200,000 miles. She Is Still America’s Mom Everyone loves her regardless of her flaws. Agreed To Serve Probation As A CNN Analyst The former Trump ally is already petitioning for an early release from her on-air duties.

 

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