Every Parent I Know Wants To Walk Into The Sea Right Now

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'The idea of going back to mandatory, full-time virtual learning makes me feel like the walls are closing in on me.'

My 10-year-old son has been exposed to COVID-19 three times in the past week.

Parents have been through worse: the early days when we were afraid our children could die if they touched the staircase railing; the days when school and outside child care and activities first fell to the wayside, leaving us to adjust to 24/7 caretaking responsibilities, often on top of our other jobs; the heartbreak of initiating children who didn’t yet understand how to wear a mask or why they couldn’t play with their friends.

Exacerbating all of this is the fact that my child, struggling with feelings he can’t fully understand or express, is acting out by yelling at me almost constantly and refusing to do things like eat breakfast in the morning or get dressed for school. He’s worried about his father , devastated to be spending 10 days away from him, and angry about all of this, about having to live this way, and in a pinch, being angry at Mom will have to do.

“I am absolute dust at this point,” Alice said. “I’m trying to maintain a separate sense of self, but one kid is home in quarantine and I spent the last 10 nights cuddling a Squishmallow in my other kid’s bed listening to my husband cough. So I have very limited access to to my own mind and I miss it very much.”

As a single mom, I rely on help from my support systems to get by. One of the cruelties of this public health crisis is that by requiring isolation, it bars us from being able to help one another.

 

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