LOS ANGELES—Claiming his penis had obviously been coerced into exposing itself to a flight attendant in 2016, Elon Musk reportedly accused his genitals Friday of being a far-left actor with an axe to grind.
that he would never do something like that, and that his penis was clearly attempting to discredit him after years of highly publicized tension between the two. “Sadly, my shaft and balls used to be genitals of love, but thanks to socialist propaganda spread by antifa, they’ve become weapons of hate. Of course, while I move to the right, my penis has chosen to move dangerously to the left. Disgusting.
Seems like a hell of a disconnect…
😜😆😁
liquidtodd liquidtodd, your a huge disappointment to the edm community with your left wing influence. Let it go mate.
You're trying too hard. Didn't work
bambooney vtuberloveslug
Wow when did elonmusk become such a staunch republican? 😂
Polanski, Jackson, next Musk ?
hey! Peyronie's disease is no laughing matter... even if it curves to the left.
Did all your best writers move to the Bee?
Elon’s boots must be delicious, considering how many people in this comment section are licking them.
Love This 👍🏼🙌😊✌️💙🗣️👁️🗽👁️😳🦉😂
LOL The Onion still exists 2015 called & wants its lame ironybro lib humor back.
😭💦💦💦
😭
My genitals are cosmically aligned and full of divine masculine energy
The Onion moment
Triple entendre
Elon is the world's richest entertainer
I updated elonmusk's graphic for him.
Sounds like something he would say smh
Must be political 🙄
Both of them or just the left one? *See what I did there*
😄😄😄
What?
JohnJHarwood 🤣🤣🤣
JohnJHarwood
😂
Good god this is absolutely terrible. Even reading the comments.. the left can't meme. Just about the same amount of cringe as trump fan boys.
You guys really fell off.
Clumsy wording and confusing concept - this is almost aggressively unfunny. Such a shame, but unsurprising when you sacrifice humor for a political agenda.
Wow, I remember when the Onion was funny.
As you get older they get wild. Sometimes far left, sometimes far right but always far too low
What drug is this guy on
This is decent, but the humor n sarcasm levels are low.. Babylon Bee is far far better..
The Onion is as weak as piss. Hasn't been funny in years.
Educated people see the joke that you are elonmusk
I was on a roll last night with this one 😂
🤣!!! Love the random silliness as only can bring!!!😂
Holy shit - the Onion is back......but a little wilted...hangin to the left
cue laugh track
This is so twisted.
😹
Are we pretending this is funny
Weak
Tara Reade could not be reached for comment?
Point to make?
Untuk menghancurkan dan atau membangun suatu hal yang besar, mungkin
Careful, you might just be giving him ideas.
All of conservative Twitter right now:
Babylonbee is so much funnier.
thatssooreagan1 Did you write this 😂
You assume he didn’t just shove them whole into some douchebag politicians butt for tax breaks. Or had them at all.
played as expected BUT everyone now has FAKE NEWS appreciation .
JonBaker
Onion sucks! Be funnier!
Elon Musk accuses own genitals of being a pedo.
You're joking, but at the current absurdity level of reality I wouldn't put it past him; of course, I also wouldn't be too shocked if Roger Rabbit asked me if I knew where Eddie Valiant was... that's how absurd shit is right now!
This is excellent news, because the thought of Melon Husk putting his genitals to the grindstone makes me smile.
Mike Myers to play his next weird role of Elon Musk in the Lifetime Movie ‘Stalked By A Limp Bald Creep.’ “She did wanted it, Bay-bee! Why is libs so means to MEEEEE!?!”
Come on, The Onion. This is like Babylon Bee level clever
Jesus Christ 😅
Lmao
I don't get it.
I read 'axe elons genitals' ive got a hatchet and im on my way
Well done!🤣
……. I don’t get it…
Ol’ Musky’s at it again.
It occurs to me, I don’t even know what this prick’s voice sounds like. I’m pretty happy about that.
Not an Ax-grinding penis....
linbregar
Republicans- A free horse with every tallywacker massage !
😂😂😂😂😂
Still posting bangers
kinda phoning it in on this one
Cue the baby bee bros claiming The Onion isn’t funny.
FuckItFelix2 Genitals and axe in the same sentence 😬
Fox news The Onion
Lol 😂! The 🧅’s on a roll.
Freaking 🧅! I love you 😂
elonmusk
Hahahahahaha
His left testicle has become radicalized!
Lmao get his ass
Elon has destroyed the Democrats New Woke Order! Restored free speech! Now they're trying to destroy him! They won't... He's so gonna buy Disney, Netflix, and Dominion Voting next so we can fix the Stolen Election!!
Thanks for the LOL
So fun!
Ok elonmusk, that one is funny you gotta admit 😂😂😂
elonmusk
'I can't even identify my own existing or non-existing scars or tattoos from that area any more' He later added.
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