Don\u2019t Try to Fix Their Weaknesses. Instead, Try to Celebrate Their Strengths.

The past few months have been tough. Bedtime anxiety, tears over missing friends, refusing schoolwork, an emotional and frustrated mom trying to work, and also teach. Can anybody relate? There have been beautiful moments, too. Family basketball and daily lunch together, all five of us sitting at a table laughing. But sometimes I veer off course and the negative emotions get the best of me.

Being a school psychologist, I have worked with hundreds of students and found some tried-and-true touchstones. These touchstones are the things I know for sure about working with kids — especially those with ADHD. They don’t make me the perfect parent, or prevent me from losing my temper or being unfair. But when I lose my way, they usually bring me back to the tenets ofWhen we work in weaknesses, the best we can hope for is average.

intervention is aimed at shoring up weaknesses — fixing, solving, troubleshooting. While we want to improve challenging areas, this model causes our children to view themselves as broken. A shift to focusing on their strengths is powerful for that very reason.What is their unique ability?Sports, art, words, nature, dance, music? Sometimes the very thing that drives everyone nuts is their “superpower” — their unique ability, their energy, their sensitivity.

During this time of stress and being home all of the time, completing every assignment exactly as assigned is NOT a hill I would die on. If everyone leaves your school table in tears, get off that hill, and make it fun!does not learn. It does not hear you. It does not problem solve or respond to consequences — and especially not to lectures. So, stop!. Tears, yelling, storming off, crumpled papers, refusal. These are the symptoms. If you witness this behavior, do not proceed.

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