Do You Avoid Being Vulnerable In Your Relationship?

Deeply connected relationships require us to be vulnerable. Vulnerability looks different for different people. Some people feel that asking for what they need feels vulnerable. Some people feel that saying"No" feels vulnerable. Some feel vulnerable being seen naked, or having an. Still others feel vulnerable being honest about what they struggle with.

Why would you want to be vulnerable? Why wouldn't you just avoid what feels vulnerable, rather than risk being hurt? There are many answers to these questions. One reason that it’s important to be vulnerable is that if you never take a risk that your needs will be met, or you will be loved and accepted as you are, then you never get the chance to have a reparative experience.

Another reason to be vulnerable is that when you allow yourself to be seen, and you are met with acceptance by your partner, your level of emotional safety in the relationship rises, and you can feel more deeply connected. How deeply we connect with others is largely dependent on how emotionally safe we feel with them.

If you struggle to be vulnerable, and you long for deeper connection and healing, begin exploring how you're currently self-protecting. With awareness of how you're keeping yourself safe, you can begin to take steps that push your comfort zone bit by bit. Soon, you'll be more able to be vulnerable, and you'll feel deeper connection and increase your healing.Be curious about your current behavior.

with the lights off to avoid being seen naked? Do you avoid certain topics so you don't reveal any perceived flaws?Do you tell yourself your needs aren't that important in order to avoid having to ask your partner for something? Do you tell yourself your partner can't do it, so why bother asking? Become aware of the stories you tell yourself, and begin to question whether they keep you safe or they're true.

'It’s not a terrible thing that we feel fear when faced with the unknown. It is part of being alive, something we all share. We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold on to. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.'

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