Do Women Really 'Forget' the Pain of Childbirth? Because I Sure Didn’t

What’s the most painful thing you can remember happening to you? Getting stung by a swarm of bees? Breaking a limb? Being dumped by a dude named Jeremy at the school dance while “Love Hurts” was playing? Well, one of the memories many women would put pretty high up on that list is delivering a baby.in order to deliver my child, a son.

For a while, I was truly on the fence about having only one child. And it’s a common conundrum for many parents. Have just one kid or two? Or more? For people like myself, who had a hard time delivering, there is this added element of fear. In addition, things weren't exactly easy for my husband, either, and he is still experiencing lasting emotional effects and anxiousness that leaves him less than super excited about trying for baby number two.

But then there are people more like myself, who don’t feel so disconnected from the pain. Take Kristen, 38, a stay-at-home mom, who still remembers one infamous aspect of both of her vaginal deliveries quite clearly: “I’ll never forget the ring of fire crotch burn as both of the babies heads came out for two separate labors, two-and-a-half years apart.”

Jennifer Conti, M.D., clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford University and co-host ofpodcast, tells SELF that this concept of dissociating from the discomfort of childbirth isn’t something that’s well studied. But she theorizes that it’s possible the survival of our species might depend on the idea that a woman would forget the pain of labor and birth. “Evolutionarily, it makes sense though,” she explains.

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