or the groundbreaking adventure of, Shigeru Miyamoto’s iconic franchise inspires a sense of wonder and exploration few titles can match. That’s why a recent discussion with experts is going to be a disappointment to gamers everywhere: They’re now telling us that all the big kisses we did to the TV while Princess Zelda was onscreen never got through to her.That’s right, readers.
Even worse, according to the NYU, Northwestern University, and University of Berkeley game design experts who spoke with us, this sad state of affairs holds true regardless of how rapid, loud, or wet our kisses on the television screen happened to be. We even asked if the little kisses we blew got to her, but they insisted that that was not how games worked.
While some in the gaming community might hold out hope that at least the extra special smooches they gave more recently duringplaythroughs might have made it through—especially since they wore chapstick and left the kisses on the screen for the whole day and hugged the TV screen, too—the experts were quick to assure us that Princess Zelda had no idea that any of this was happening, and she never would.
This brings up the unsettling question of whether the experts are simply trying to keep all the big kisses for themselves. Certainly, we make the suggestion without significant evidence.
madeoutofuser
Damn
victorsundaye sorry man...
Oh, i wasn't kissing Zelda but i was to Link and since there in the same game then...
sour_lux Pfft this tweets want to take me in the mental hospital lmaoo😂😂😂
You can’t do this to me
WHAT
What's even the point anymore
Literally who was doing that? I was too busy with Revali and Teba
Wow, the funny satire well in drying
Thank you, The Onion.
Yeah well fuck experts
Don’t worry folks, this is satire. That means they did!
shit
It's not true
I'm sorry SamNX236 & M1narc 😌
what Thefuck. icant believe this .i SHANT believe this .
17
ZeldaInformer Thats a shame
NOOOOOO
Chinchillazllla 🥺
...Beauty is a cruel mistress 😂💔 princesszelda
I see
Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did. Mine did.
Bad news heliosbeisbol
Who cares? As long my Angewomon got it
BrianBerlin4 why is this so disappointing? she is NOT REAL
RobbinsHistory zaccdoesgames 🤣😄❤
She noticed, she's just trying to not make y'all feel jealous
All those smooches il never get back..... sometimes I wonder if there actually is a god because right now it seems like there isn’t
DAMMMIIIIT
Sorry Zelda, I'm a believer in Ruto supremacy
Hopefully they'll work on that with BOTW 2
But she got all my Kegels.
Alpha Males lament political correctness taking over, yearn for their childhoods when video game characters talked to them directly.
GbyeGreySkies guess we'll just keep trying
Oh man.
Crossover
Heartbreaking news.
Taking notes from HardDriveMag, Onion?
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