Dear Care and Feeding: My Daughters’ Friends Have the Most Frustrating Excuse for Being Flaky

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I feel so terrible that my daughter has come to feel that she can’t lean on her friends for support. They’re so unreliable.

Our 13-year-old daughter “Joy” attends a private, nonsectarian K-12 school. Most of her classmates are on the wealthier side; they have access to psychiatry services and can receive diagnoses without systemic obstacles . Joy herself does not have any mental health diagnoses, but has been running into a very particular sort of issue over the past 2-3 years.

In the interest of full disclosure, due to my depression I’ve been known to flake on people, not return their texts/calls, and be completely aloof, and it has cost me many friends over the years. One thing I’ve realized as I navigate this mental minefield is my behavior is my responsibility, and I can’t expect people to allow me to treat them in a certain way without repercussions.

also has some good tips. Remember, one of the few times it’s actually acceptable to break out the “it’s not you, it’s me” line, it’s from someone with this illness.I am concerned about my grown daughter’s relationship with her teenage mentor. My daughter, “Kendall,” is 23 and an artist. She has become well-known in our area’s queer art scene, and has had the opportunity to lead a number of classes and workshops. That’s where she met “Anna,” who is 15 and a budding artist herself.

 

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Those people she can’t rely on … ya, those aren’t friends. Buddy of mine showed up one night to go party at a local hangout. He canceled w/the people we were supposed to hang out w/ & helped me pack. I didn’t ask him; he just dove on in. Facebook “friends” aren’t friends.

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