Dear Care and Feeding: Is It Possible for Kids to Be Too Honest?

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Is it bad for children to be taught to always tell the truth?

We have a 9-week-old, a 2-year-old, and a 4-year-old. Our middle child mostly ignores the baby, but when he does pay attention to her, he is kind and gentle. Their interactions are brief and sweet.

I’m trying to be as gentle with him and as understanding as I can. I tell him that he’s being very sweet with her and then try to redirect his attention elsewhere . But it doesn’t work. I don’t want to yell at him for being so in love with his baby sister, but I also need him to listen to me. I feel like I can’t put her down for fear that he will accidentally hurt her. I have to keep eyes in the back of my head. Even if the baby seems unbothered by his attentions, it bothers me.

Something that happens to a lot of people when they bring home a brand-new baby is that their older children seem to have grown into large, unwieldy adults overnight. You are still Full of Hormones, and it’s so normal to feel bemused and guilty about feeling a strong urge to protect the tiny one from the ones with massive heads and grabby hands.

 

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