I’m 33 and have been married for seven years. My husband and I want children but we live in a one-bedroom condo in an expensive city. We have steady jobs but don’t have a ton of savings and so it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to upgrade to a larger home in the near future. Some friends say you’ll never be ready for a kid, which makes sense in many ways.
My sister has friends with kids this age, and she frequently treats me to lectures on how those parents are living their best lives and not letting their kids stress them out. Of course Ito be less overwhelmed! Of course I’m working on it! But she is not very involved in our lives, she doesn’t really know our son, and she doesn’t understand that kids can be really different in terms of how easy they are to tote along. Never mind that she’s never had a toddler or a demanding job .
But here comes another strand in that sister knot. She misses you. She feels left out. Who knows if her infertility plays a role in this . What seems obvious, though, is that the two of you have been close and now you are much less close. This happens sometimes when one person has a baby and the other doesn’t. It happened to me with some of my closest friends, and some of them lashed out in complex and subtle ways .
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