Dear Care and Feeding: I Can’t Bear for My Husband to Ever Yell at Our Child. About Anything. Is That Unreasonable?

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Parenting advice on losing your temper, lying to your kids, and social media.

When can I unfriend a friend on Facebook who dropped me like a hot potato over a slight? Some time ago, I was texting her about organizing an excursion for her with several of our friends when I mentioned that my 11-year-old might not join us. I was aware that she was bringing11-year-old, but I honestly did not see that as an issue—I was just imagining how much easier and more fun the day would be if I wasn’t dragging along an uninterested child.

It’s possible she’s just too raw over whatever it is that happened between you. And what did happen? The one thing I know for sure is that it was not “this incident” that broke your friendship. Sure, it would have been more thoughtful to have said, “I know Alice is going to be with us, but Sarah gets so cranky at adult gatherings, and I would love to spend time with you and our friends without having to deal with her—I leave her at home.

If I say I don’t drive for medical reasons, or that I simply choose not to, they resort to a game of 20 questions to try to puzzle out “the truth.” One day I finally snapped and said: “Epilepsy is a bitch. I haven’t had a seizure in years and could legally drive if I wanted to, but it’s just not worth the risk.” The response towas alarm about whether her child was “safe” to be left with me, driving or no driving! We don’t speak now.

 

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