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Dear Annie: Why didn’t we get a thank-you card for our wedding gift?

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The old rule of thumb was the gift should cover the plate. Others say it’s a gift and you’re not responsible for paying for the couple’s wedding.

Annie Lane suggests a lack of a thank-you card for a recent wedding gift might reflect more on the couple than on the amount of the gift given.

Is it a gift, or must we pay for all expenses for each of us? When our children got married, many people were very generous, and some were not. -- ConfusedAs far as the amount to give, it varies. Cultures have different ways of handling important events like a birth, a wedding or a funeral. You mentioned an “old rule of thumb” stating that “the gift should cover the plate.” That sounds fine for some people, but perhaps not for you. It sounds like your gift was as generous as it could be.

After much digging and many other behaviors that seemed related, my therapist recommended I be evaluated for ADD. I come from a generation where ADD/ADHD seemed to be a buzzword and a condition that was overdiagnosed to explain troubled behaviors in kids, so I wasn’t necessarily on board.

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