DEAR ANNIE: I have a friend whose father recently died. They were incredibly close, and my heart hurts for her. She and I had met at her father’s house 20-plus years ago and became super close for many years.
After her father passed, I went to her house. I could see a serious weight loss, but at that point, I chalked it up to her being stressed. At the service, it was obvious that she was under the influence. She even told me how her mother was telling other people she was using these drugs, but my friend looked me dead in the eye and told me that she’s not.
When I woke the next morning, she had made a post on social media talking about how her friends are slowly abandoning her. I chose not to comment and pretended not to see it, but what I really wanted to say is that the drugs are making her into someone that I personally don’t recognize. I want to tell her that my feelings are hurt because she lied to me. She knows that I’m in recovery, so she should understand that I know what addiction looks like. On the other hand, I also understand that addiction alters our brains and that until she’s ready to quit, there’s nothing that I myself can do for her.
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