Dear Abby: I’ve found out that I have two half-brothers. Should I contact them?

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I am a 49-year-old woman who never had a father in my life.

He was gone shortly after my mother announced she was pregnant. When she contacted him via his family to let him know I was born, he said he didn’t care, he was already with someone else and she was pregnant.

I have always known his name and that he lived in Ohio. Well, thanks to technology, I found him. I would look him up every so often. I just learned he died seven months ago. I saw from his obituary that I have two brothers. I’m not sure what, if anything, to do. If they don’t know about me, wouldn’t that be a shock? I haven’t told my mother anything about this. I’m not sure how, to be honest. So where am I supposed to go from here?You should discuss the fact that you have been searching with your mother. It’s long overdue, and she may be able to share more details with you. If you were seeking the father you never had, he was gone long before his death, and for that I am sorry.

What a healthy person would do in a case like this is build a family of your choosing, with friends who are caring and supportive, and concentrate on the future rather than the past, which you cannot change.“Seeking Help in Texas” sought assistance for her 24-year-old grandson with Asperger’s syndrome and a bipolar diagnosis. He could apply for career counseling and job placement services from the Vocational Rehabilitation agency serving job seekers with disabilities in his state.

 

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