Dear Abby: I left an abusive relationship and met the man of my dreams

I was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for 19 years, until I finally found the courage to take our daughter and leave. Afterward, I met the man of my dreams, and we married. We were together for 30 happy years.

Her father is now ailing, and she wants to move him to a nursing home near us, which is fine with me. However, she wants to have him over for special-occasion dinners. I am extremely uncomfortable in his presence. I have told her I would make plans to be out of the house at those times. My daughter feels I should stay and suck it up because the holidays are for “family.”

You should not be required to celebrate any holidays with your abuser in order to fulfill your daughter’s fantasy of a happy family. If she was old enough to recognize what was going on, she should know better. If I suggest that I sleep in the guest room, my husband gets upset and sulks. Not only do those dogs disturb my sleep as they move around and growl, but I smell like a dog until I take my morning shower each day. I work a full-time job, and he recently retired. Any advice would be appreciated. —You say your husband has recently retired, and his solution to a disagreement is to sulk.

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