Dear Abby: Fiancee leaves without warning after 15-year relationship

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She didn’t give me a chance to fight for us (counseling, etc.) or even a heads-up that she was unhappy.

One afternoon when I got home from work, I found a note from her saying she was sorry for not being able to tell me in person, but she was doing this for herself.

I have always been an honorable person in any relationship I have had. This is hard for me to understand and move on from. I have never been this hurt and emotionally drained. She will not communicate with me verbally, only through emails and texts. I feel desperate and lost. Please give me any encouragement that there is light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.

Once you regain some perspective, you may realize that something changed when she made the effort to start losing weight. Please understand that the woman you invested so much time in was dishonest, cowardly and selfish to have treated you the way she did. I wish you had mentioned why the two of you hadn’t married in the 15 years you were together. But, my friend, you dodged a bullet. A licensed psychotherapist will help you to realize how LUCKY you are.My brother-in-law recently moved near us. He never misses a chance to one-up others or brag about everything he has. Others have noticed this as well.

I’m close to my sister and happy to have her near me, but I’m not sure how to handle the situation with her spouse. I try to minimize my time with him and ignore him when he speaks, however difficult it may be. My husband no longer wants anything to do with him, and I can’t say I blame him. But I don’t want to cause a rift between my sister and me. Advice?There are two ways to handle this.

 

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