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Dad Gets Dolled Up For Trip To Lowe’s

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DEMING, IN—Glancing in the mirror while clipping a measuring tape to his belt, area dad Roger Hobak reportedly got all gussied up Wednesday before making the 14-mile trip to his local Lowe’s Home Improvement store. According to household sources, Hobak slipped into his best flannel shirt and weathered blue jeans, laced up his leather steel-toe work boots extra tight, and checked to make sure that his Carhartt jacket was free of any visible hairs from the family dog. Dressed to the nines in his fanciest workwear, the 56-year-old reportedly then shaved, trimmed his nose hairs, and dabbed a touch of Aqua Velva on his cheeks in preparation for his appearance at the superstore’s hardware, flooring, and kitchen cabinetry departments. At press time, sources confirmed that Hobak had quickly ducked back into the bathroom to touch up the powdered sugar stain on his collar.

 

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Over dressed.

Lowes sucks. I only get dressed up for Home Depot.

alexasbunn

I don’t think trimming nose hair was necessary. Also, he should donate that shirt to a cool millennial.

As one should

Slut

This is some hilarious stuff. I really never get tired of you guys. Unfollowed.

unchainedcola

That's all of us at this point! Matching mask included.

Be nice. I go there for military discount. Not everyone can present like beautiful people.

Be careful dressed like that. Those plumbers are always looking to 'snake some drains.'

That dude gets all the Karen’s in his bed

No Chinese fashion accessories because this is America!

Grimace in his finest hour.

You sure it wasn't Wal-Mart? The Boomers get confused by the blue logo's

I hate how accurately this describes me.

Cleans up nice

too real

Too true

parody is in short supply....question who doesn't get dolled up for a trip to Lowe's? ;)

Not every occasion deserves clean underwear.

This ain't Walmart. Hardware stores have a dress code.

🤣🤣🤣

Is this Prince Andrew

Many confused dad's right here

Now that's a heccin dad

This was my trip to Lowe’s today. Battle AlsoNeededAHammer

More like:

ehigdon

It ain’t called curbside pickup for nothing.

ann__maka es_pricey

DanFosterType Yasss! Me on a Saturday!

Wholesome Onion content

Making fun of dads now Onion, BLOCKED!

The Karen's at Lowes respect the drip...

Hell yeah brother. I need all the 2x4’s you have in stock

Why do you put a white man? I’m tired of this

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