Crypto-Averse Man Would Prefer Investing In Traditional Stock Market He Also Doesn’t Understand

FORT WORTH, TX—Dismissing the technology as a flash in the pan and doomed to fail, cryptocurrency-averse man Tim Blankenship told reporters Friday that he would prefer investing in a traditional stock market that he also doesn’t understand.

I don’t want to keep up on the mystifying trends that affect crypto and lose all my money, when I could just as easily not keep up with the mystifying trends that affect the S&P or NASDAQ and lose all my money.” At press time, Blankenship had decided to invest his money in online blackjack since he at least understood how it worked.

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I feel attacked

Did the Onion just miss?

I have an idea. 80% increase in shear capacity of concrete slab using ECC concrete with a thickness of 3 cm. I wanted to know who is interested in investing in this idea? the prototype is built and tested(If you know someone who is investing in ideas,please introduce me to them)

And the point is? Another logical fallacy about crypto?

MaadMike

$matic polygon on-chain network's super cool. I got to know about $matic through NASDEX ( $NSDX). Maybe I can help you understand how the on-chain stock market works. Just ping me :)

Ryan_J_Lewis 😂

This isn’t even parody!

Came to decision to buy into mortgage derivatives, on margin, by the predictive powers of the chicken bones he rolled and reading the entrails of his sacrificial goat.

JoeSquawk ❗🎯🤣🤣

SLIM1N

Uh, guys? I don't stay away from crypto because I don't understand it. I stay away from crypto because I *DO*.

BeegSmokey guy in the article Onion writers 🤝 Don't understand either one Own both

Let me fix that for you: Man who doesn’t trust or understand the stock market chooses to invest in cryptocurrency he also doesn’t understand.

Wow ok so we're doing personal attacks now

Bahaaaa this one’s for CElston 😹😹😹

imightbesomeone hrishisolunke

GOD is there or not ? C'mon...GOD is omnipresent except ICU and Accidental death site.. SUPER-POWER (GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc.) is really there..

GOD is there or not ? C'mon...GOD is omnipresent except ICU and Accidental death site. SUPER-POWER (GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc.) is really there.

GOD is there or not ? C'mon...GOD is omnipresent except ICU and Accidental death site. SUPER-POWER (GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc.) is really there..

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