Couples therapy works, but sometimes it works in very different ways.

Some approaches to couples work are highly structured, while others resemble individual talk therapy.

, John Gottman boldly criticized the most common forms of couples therapy and, citing his own research with his wife, Julie Gottman, with whom he spent decades observing couples in their laboratory, offered a new approach he claimed would be more effective. That approach became rather famously known as the Gottman method.

Returning to our couple, Justin and Laura, the Gottman method could be useful in helping Laura express her needs in less critical language while alerting Justin to the ways he can stonewall and become defensive in avoiding dealing with Laura’s concerns. It could also help the couple grow less estranged by establishing shared meanings, fostering mutual appreciation, and by getting to know each other better through building love maps .

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