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Couple Tired Of Always Having Same Knife Fight

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BOSTON—Expressing frustration after finding themselves in the same old predictable dispute again, local couple Melanie Kinsey and Derrick Alterman admitted Friday that they were growing tired of always having the same knife fight. “More often than not, I’ll be tired and irritable and take a few little swipes at her here and there, and then she gets defensive and just lashes out at me—which I understand, but I don’t know if it’s proportional to bring up stuff I did before we were dating, or to use a machete,” said Alterman, adding that on occasions when alcohol is involved, the altercations have been known to escalate brutality to the point where neighbors have called the police. “Sure, on the surface, it’s just a little knife-fight about dishes someone—okay, that I left in the sink tonight, but really we both know what the underlying knife-fight is really about. Plus, Melanie really knows my most vulnerable spots, and she always goes for them first. We both know exactly how to hurt each other. Frankly, I’m exhausted from all this.” Kinsey, for her part, said she fears the couple may keep rehashing this same knife fight until one of them finally leaves and comes back with an axe.

 

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happy wife, happy life; no need to get the knife.

Wow, it’s like my childhood all over again. Well that was rather dark…

Mr and Mrs Smith

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

If they really want to spice thing up, upgrade to guns. 😄

Beats a blunt argument any day!

villanevequotes We all know who this is KillingEve

'I told you we should have bought that Ginsu set!'

- “That was really cutting.” - “There’s no other way to get my point across!”

We keep using the same points over and over again, it just feels like we never really cut through to the meat of the matter.

Yes, but over the years I've learned how to sew better.

WTF are they going to accomplish by stabbing eachother?

Sharp.

Spice it up with the occasional Gun fight

Nina_D22

Just don't tell them this might be slightly dysfunctional tho. They'll only call you friend if you get the nun chucks they asked for.

Don't go to bed angry... ...or with a severed artery...

Mr and Mrs McStabby should get a room already!

I know this couple.

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