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Coronavirus Forces Landlord To Cut Back On Taking Care Of Building From 1 To 0 Hours A Week

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CHICAGO—Lamenting the fact that he’d had to postpone his weekly unannounced visits to tenants until further notice, local landlord Rudy Jacobson told reporters Monday that the coronavirus had forced him to cut back on taking care of his building from one to zero hours a week. “Based on the city’s most recent shelter-in-place orders, I’m guessing it could be months until I can pop in at strange hours, bang on broken radiators and sinks, and then say that I don’t have the part to fix it and that there’s nothing I can do,” said Jacobson, adding that while he wanted to help his renters, he didn’t want to risk their safety just to spend 20 minutes milling around and leaving a mess of drywall dust and loose nails all over the floor. “It’s unfortunate, but for the next few months, I will not be able to stop by and post signs above the laundry machine that says ‘broken: do not use,’ or send mass texts in all caps to the entire building not to leave out food because it attracts rats. Also, until further notice, I am reducing the hours of my pest control specialist, my plumber, as well as my large son whom I frequently cuss out in the building’s shared spaces.” At press time, Jacobson added that despite the current public health crisis, he would work his hardest to ensure that rent collection and evictions would continue operating without interruptions.

 

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johncasertano

. Am I supposed to know who this guy Is ? (truth) because I dont.

Very good stock photo of a landlord.

we‘re all in this together

15mins is not 1 hour, is it? ok, then all is ok..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

A landlord has a very important job.... Like counting my money.

FACTS

lol

*tags landlord

Wow, big deal. He was only doing it for 1 hour and now 0? Who cares. Not me. No one.

1 hour is an exaggeration

Aquí donde estoy yo ahora alquilada no taking care of the building ni antes ni después del corona, siempre han sido 0 hours of taking care of the building

Still more productive than I’ll ever be

Is that an unshaven photo of Jared Kushner's Dad, the convicted felon?

I wish. My landlord has been here every damn weekend and most weeknights renovating the rest of the building into more apartments.

LizardRumsfeld Still got it

'In these difficult times, we appreciate your understanding. Rent still due by the 5th or a 10% fee.'

This ain't even satire no more

get their asses

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