Comedians Share the Jokes They Most Regret

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.pattonoswalt, alyankovic, and others on material that hasn’t aged well — and how owning up to it has helped grow their comedic voices

Photo: Photos by Getty Images To err is human; to forgive, divine is a proverb that seems to have been rejected by a large sector of the comedy community.

“Weird Al” Yankovic Weird Al. Photo: Debra L Rothenberg/Getty Images I tend to go for what I consider “family-friendly” humor. A lot of the material I’ve done just the last year in particular is pretty dark and twisted, but there’s no harsh profanity. There’s nothing overtly sexual. It’s the kind of music that families can listen to on car trips and nobody gets too embarrassed.

One of these shows was scheduled for the one-year anniversary of 9/11. I was in New York City during 9/11 and incredibly affected by that. That show came and it was almost like, “What can we do that will almost give the finger to 9/11?” That was the energy. I wanted to reclaim it, but what I ended up doing was something in terrible taste.

Most people don’t understand that when you watch a stand-up set, you’re not watching a finished product unless you’re watching them tape their special. It’s a weird art form where in order to get better we have to work out our material in front of an audience, and sometimes that means trying something risky and seeing if it’s worth keeping in the set. We need an audience present to feed off their energy and feel their response, which could result in offending someone with a joke we’re trying.

Cameron Esposito Cameron Esposito. Photo: Scott Dudelson/Getty Images I don’t really look at it like regret or shame. More like evolution. As I’ve aged as a human and a performer, I’ve gotten more information and I’ve adjusted my material and performance to reflect my current knowledge. I regret telling it for so long. I knew why people were laughing and I’m responsible for that. I wish I could say I stopped telling it because I wised up, but really, I think I did it on TV and then I considered it burned material. It wasn’t until recently that I started to wonder, “Yeeeeesh, what was I thinking?” Not to be all “But I have a lot of gay friends!” but when I started doing stand-up, I was fresh out of UC Santa Cruz, and I really didn’t have a lot of straight female friends.

 

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pattonoswalt alyankovic “The guys who complain about not being able to do rape jokes anymore seem like dudes who forgot to keep growing. They got comfortable with how things used to be. Comfort is a synonym for dry rot.” - Kyle Kinane

pattonoswalt alyankovic Is anyone sincerely enlightened by the notion that comedy changes?

pattonoswalt alyankovic If I were the Pope of Comedy I would feel compelled to completely absolve you re: the 'gay retarded people' bit. It's only the word 'retarded' that makes a flag pop up. The narrative itself is actually kinda loving. It's clear that you're actually on the character's side.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Really? What wussies. Here is a joke I told to my fellow firefighters at Patrick AFB on January 28, 1986: NASA stands for need another seven astronauts. Still funny. If anyone is offended, well, you know what you can do to yourself.

Jennife09485821 pattonoswalt alyankovic Weird Al is not a comedian unless he’s being considered a bad one. He’s just mostly weird.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Times change, next!

pattonoswalt alyankovic Look all the average comedians virtue signalling there way into an article lol.

pattonoswalt alyankovic 3 comedians a bunch of UCB hacks and jake Flores. Hell of a list.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Abbott and Costello Laurel and Hardy Marx Brothers

pattonoswalt alyankovic paulscheer did a bit about his future co-star Steve Rannazzisi?

pattonoswalt alyankovic Should i know anyone else then mr Oswalt and Yankovic?

pattonoswalt alyankovic Great, now do Michael Richards

pattonoswalt alyankovic Lame can’t imagine the Richard Priors or Billy Connollys ever regretting using a word and then stopping the show to explain why they used it. This is why they were at the top of their game and those in the article are not. Being offended is subjective ffs 🤷🏻‍♂️

pattonoswalt alyankovic This is a tedious read.

pattonoswalt alyankovic JaneyGodley

pattonoswalt alyankovic querolerporra

pattonoswalt alyankovic not sure what it says about me but the basic premise of the paulscheer 9/11 bit sounds like genius

pattonoswalt alyankovic The tone of this whole article is pretty gross and whiny, most especially the intro I shudder to think that our language and communication are evolving backwards as to ban certain things from being joked or talked about “Your offense is incorrect” is absolutely a valid sentiment

pattonoswalt alyankovic Lol, three year old article paywalled.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Too bad we cant read it

pattonoswalt alyankovic Oh wait. Forgiveness is now a thing from the left Huh.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Looking back on it today I deeply regret joking back in the '80's that plants didn't have feelings and eating them was not an act of barbarity. It's really coming back to haunt me now that American society is perfect with zero sense of humor.

Most of those jokes didn’t age well between their mind and mouth.

pattonoswalt alyankovic People need to be allowed to grow. Still waiting for John Wayne’s apology.

pattonoswalt alyankovic article should be re-titled: 'Saving Face'

pattonoswalt alyankovic If anyone was going to be offended or hurt by a joke on that topic, it’d be me but the rape joke that dude was beating himself up over was actually pretty funny.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Changing along with the times makes sense and is a good thing, but apologizing for happening to have been born and raised in an earlier time, when people saw things differently, is just dumb.

pattonoswalt alyankovic Just face it trying to be a stand-up comic is pretty much null and void with the current 'woke' culture...

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