Climate Experts Say Only Hope For Saving Planet Lies With People Who Save Napkins From Takeout Order

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GENEVA—Explaining that global warming trends were close to passing a dangerous and irreversible tipping point, a report released Monday by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change stated that humanity’s sole hope for saving the planet now lies with people who save napkins from their takeout orders. “According to our research, our only chance of averting a worldwide catastrophe rests entirely in the hands of individuals who keep the stacks of napkins that come in their takeout bag alongside their burrito or Thai food orders,” said IPCC researcher Ellen Chen, who explained that by stockpiling these loose napkins instead of throwing them out, these people offered the lone remaining path to avoiding devastating superstorms, pan-continental droughts, and increases in global sea levels that pose an existential threat to human life. “We can only pray that these key men and women continue holding on to their extra takeout napkins and piling them up in a kitchen drawer beside the plastic silverware with which they’re packed. Our fate—and, indeed, the fate of all future generations—depends on it.” Chen warned, however, that if any such individuals began throwing out the little conjoined packets of salt and pepper that come with their orders, the planet was in all likelihood doomed.

 

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🤣🤣🤣

Sorry the planet must die

Freelanceroffu1 Well I mean fuck-it it’s free napkins right?

A girl gota Pee

😥

Finally, those of us living in our cars, or mobile homes if you prefer, have become the beacon of hope in this wretched, wasteful, throwaway society.

I'm singlehandedly saving the planet. Except subways, they smell like rotting semen

The Nap Kins - All from the Same Family Saving the Planet.. George Nap, Fred Nap, Trudy Nap Granny Nap, Diederick Nap and Amsterdam Nap

TOO SOON, BITCHES

Gaia_Comics Are there people that don't do this?

It's my time to shine

Works for me.

Proud to do my part

OortCloudAtlas I'm on it!

j_osaben yesss we’re heroes

my mom is the leading activist in saving the world and she doesn’t even know it

Did you know you get free toilet paper from McDonald's? Haven't purchased toilet roll since I left home

Pro tip: save all cardboard from Amazon deliveries.... It captures the nestalgia of using public restrooms with that liberating brown sandpaper toiletpaper feel.

I always like to get a few extra ketchup and stevia packs too to go with my napkins.

Exactly...

I'm almost out due to the toilet paper shortage... 🤧

I cringe witnessing any of those lovely napkins thrown away 🤢

I knew I was a hero.

recycle-reuse-rehab.

In their purse with lipstick on them

I got this guys

Gaia_Comics Finally I'm worth something

that'll be me

lericeking

Finally, something we can do, that we already do.

I just wish that didn't make me to keep needing to get bigger and bigger purses. I'm gonna need a Sherpa soon.

I save some. And the soy sauce packets. Occasional pepper. I do what I can🤷‍♀️

I’ve got a bunch in my car!

You welcome, World.

I do what I can. One of my favorite things to do. Miser

I am your people.

🤣🧐

I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!! HEED MY WORDS!!! AH, HMM, AH, I’LL GET BACK TO YOU...

Damn I've been saving ice cubes from my water. Always pick the wrong thing

I have enough soy sauce packets to fill my car's gas tank.

“So what can I say except you’re welcome” 🎶

So does this mean I'm a hero?

You mean Glove-Compartment-Kleenex?

Waow guis i'm a saviour

That's me. I never leave without my pockets stuffed.

Winning

Gotchu

Fuck that, too hard.

👍👍👍🇨🇦 There's another reason, too. 😅

Doing my part.

Just restocked my glovebox collection yesterday. 😉 But how do we feel about single-issue napkin dispensers?

I KNEW I was making a (accidental) difference!

To be used in a way not intended.

I've got a bucket of those little soy sauce packets. Does that count?

We're all in this together

I’m doing my part! I haven’t purchased napkins from the store in years. 👍

This is how I survived the great TP Recession of Last March. And how I clogged my drain.

Use both sides for best results.

Finally, I matter!!

Put your hands up! 🙋

You're welcome. Influencer

Doing my part.

. How about people who deal with truth (about environmental issues) 1. A plane ride is worse for the environment than some plastic bottles that hold drinks(lliquid = necessary to live) 2. Eating at home is better than takeout 3. I have a lower carbon footprint than 95% of you

Bruhhhhh. I got this!!!

Hey ronnychieng...

I've been saving the planet forever! never got one award!!!

That is me and yes, I wear a cape

include chopsticks and i could save the universe

It’s my time to shine! 😄

Don’t forget the heroes that conserve the disposable chopsticks!

Happy to do my part!

I do this

I always save the sanitary napkins they include with takeout orders.

I’m just broke fuck 🌍

Got you guys. Anyone need some assorted sauce packets, too?

Sounds like truth to me

i will guide us to a better future

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