Cautious Black Man Avoids Appearing As Threat To White Person By Crossing To Other Dimension

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 1 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 4%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

OMG, are we really at this point?

😂🤣😢😡

FAKE! Humans didn't invent portals.

hollymm3 Is Trump in that other Dimension If not, then I might want to cross over too😁

How do I harness the power?

Minecraft Nether Portal

yes officer this man just said to me the blacker the hole the sweeter the juice... I don't know what it means, but I'm really frightened

😂

I know it's a joke, but it still makes me sad.

Spatial distancing

What if it's an equally racist alien dimension

Sad but some people want this to be true

Publishing real news now?

Ahahahhahaaaaa

'It was amazing! I saw him approaching and grabbed my phone so I'd be ready to call the cops. But then he just kinda vanished into thin air! I thought to myself, 'Wow! When did you people get special powers?'' - Area White Person

chrisfelixmusic

JordanPeele please make a movie!

Police then be like

ProfMMurray Yeah....

Hello 911? I saw a black man walking around in a dimension where he clearly doesn’t live

Apparently that's the only thing that works. SMH

This is great. Or Blacks could try to act civilized and assimilate into American culture instead of trying to Africanize our culture. Unity works too. Multiculturalism will never work though.

Now he's thinking with portals

👍

Never thought dimensional travel could be used for that.

I’m so old, I remember when The Onion was funny.

shit.. where can I get one of these portals? I wanna go to an itsekai.

galaxy brain

- Dimension police enters the chat -

Is he not just good mannered and waiting for the woman to go past first?

Separate but equal dimensions

'I'm so terrified! This BLACK MAN just threatened me with a BLACK HOLE, please come quick!' - the white person on the 911 call

Don't forget to integrate with respect to time when you come back. Crap. A math joke was just unintentionally sociological.

😓 dan_smells

...Sends out KarenAlert while frantically trying to find the Teleporter app. Keep your Teleporter app on the main screen! If the wormhole is down, the camera starts recording automatically.

MentheLime what a nice guy

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Officers involved in death of black man detained in Minneapolis have been fired4 Minneapolis police officers have been terminated following the death of George Floyd, who was seen pleading 'I cannot breathe' as an officer put a knee on his neck for several minutes on Monday night, Minneapolis Mayor Frey says. They need to be charged. Good now arrests
Source: NBCNews - 🏆 10. / 86 Read more »

White woman who called cops on black man, placed on leave at work, issues apologyThe woman was the subject of a viral video, in which she calls the police claiming that a black man who asked her to put her dog on a leash was threatening her. To me she sounds like having a full blown Panic Attack Why is this a black/white issue? Initially confused as to which white woman was doing what to whom I have finally figured out the exact incident. If I had just typed 'crazy racist Karen dog abuser' in my browser search I would have found the incident faster. 😂 AmyCooper CentralPark Amy
Source: Newsweek - 🏆 468. / 52 Read more »

Black man dies after video shows white officer kneeling on his neckFBI and Minnesota agents investigate the death of a black man in Minneapolis police custody after video showed a white officer kneeling on his neck. Black lives matter. 🖤 What's race got to do with it?
Source: latimes - 🏆 11. / 82 Read more »

White Woman Calls Cops On Black Man Just Looking for Cool BirdsOn Monday, a new video surfaced online of a white woman calling the police on a black man for existing in a manner she did not enjoy. Christian Cooper, a black man who enjoys the simple pleasure of bird watching, came across a woman in Central Park with an unleashed dog in an area where leashes were required, according to New York Times. Cooper politely asked the woman to put a leash on her dog, possibly believing that he was speaking to a level-headed adult. Instead, the woman began to berate Cooper and approach him in a menacing fashion, while threatening to call the police. It wasn’t for looking at birds. It was for asking her to follow the rules posted all around. She didn’t like who was communicating that rule and attacked the man and her dog. She has faced justice and to expand on what happened here is the post of how this got started before the filming started to the best of my knowledge. - Racist White woman calls cops on black man just looking for cool birds while choking out defenseless dog. I fixed it for you
Source: Jezebel - 🏆 153. / 63 Read more »

White Woman Calls Police On Black Man After He Asks Her To Leash Her DogNew Yorker Amy Cooper called the police on Christian Cooper, a black man who asked her to leash her dog in Central Park's Ramble.
Source: ScaryMommy - 🏆 116. / 63 Read more »