Boss Encourages Employees To Take Short Mental Breakdowns For Every Hour Of Work

NEW YORK—Emphasizing the company’s commitment to providing a sustainable work–life balance, Optech CEO Mark Billings told reporters Tuesday that he encourages employees to take short mental breakdowns for every hour of work.

“Every 60 minutes, we want our staff to feel free to take a walk around the block for a quick hyperventilating session when they need to,” said Billings, noting that the company has provided several private and comfortable spaces where employees can go throughout the day to curl their bodies into a tight little ball under the conference table and cry their eyes out.

That should do it 🤣

I know this is satire, but I had a boss who literally did this

Not all workplaces grant you that privilege:

Kind.

My official policy for my colony in Oxygen Not Included

Generation is getting too soft. I can go days without a break!

My life at

😝

😆

Honestly, this would be a better mental health policy than most real places.

But we already do that 🤔 Oh, but we get paid for it!

Betcha we won't be paid for them though 😉

But not on company time. Do it all during your lunch break.

Must be global corporate IT.

That’s brilliant!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Together Everyone Achieves More

This is actually so generous

Where do I apply?

El_del_Diome JAJAJAJAJA yo ya me adelanté xd Siempre viviendo en el futuro, el Papo xd

Unpaid .. make sure you understand it is on your time, not the companies time. You will be deducted an hour for your fifteen minutes... Make it five minutes. Time is money.

PatrickW Work habits are personal. There is no one size fits all solutions. Short breaks every half-hour would be disruptive to my thought processes. I prefer a nice walk when I've reached a natural stopping point

I schedule a 90 minute breakdown every hour.

Local Restaurant Installs New Walk-In Cooler, Says Old One To Be Used for Crying Only

Better not be on the clock.

I finished watching 'Severance' right before being called back into the office. My office is not that horrible, but there are a lot of rhymes there.

At least a five minutes to rest your eyes and blow steam out your ears.

Related: Telecommuting Worker Still Disoriented Every Time No Name-Tagged Tupperware Meals Found In Apartment Fridge

Bet if they made cleaner and more comfortable environments there would be less mental breakdowns.

But what if I'm always in a state of mental breakdown?

Do I get paid

Already doing this TBH.

can I carryover breakdown minutes to following weeks?

rmacgeorge - should we make this request to our HR?

having such a breakdown today since tried to log into work Friday (remote worker) and all systems completely down. Had to text boss to find out that none of us are working. Don't know if/when system will be back up or what happened. Hacked?

Reflection is important - snorting powder sugar can give a high that is deemed legal and has low impact on budget and social environment And you can say without hesitations.. 'i do snort powdersugar during breaks !' And nobody will think you are an addict.. just a sugardandy

TBH, that will help a whole lot of recoveries. Nice one.

NicholasFerroni Oh, the Onion strikes again!

And slam a few espressos and let's go!

Nah, boss wouldn’t encourage breaks every hour.

Sounds like my last job

Also, Install Emergency Boxes Of Whiskey

way ahead of ya!

Guy who saves all of his breakdown hours to be used consecutively at the end of the month. 💪🧐

But on their own time.

“Don’t forget to practice self-care!”

My brain, first time reading this: “Hey, short mental break. What a nice boss.” My brain, second time reading this: “Oh. The Onion strikes again.”

This is supposed to be satire not something that could actually happen

Thx Boss, much appreciated..

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