Blockchain Bros and Crypto Socialites Came to Party

Apparently, this is how much cryptokids love Disclosure. Photo: McGill Productions/Tom Morbey Let me tell you a not-so-secret secret: I sometimes wish I had one of those nice, well-paid boyfriends who work in tech. Like, I have a total crush on my roommate’s man, D. He’s tall, handsome, charming, and, oh yeah, he works in cryptocurrency, which I know basically nothing about, other than it seems to be something that is making some computer nerds rich.

8:14 p.m. | D and I arrive at Bogart House, where the cryptokids are getting their vaxx cards checked in a line outside. Waiting on an elevator to go upstairs, I overhear a very pretty girl wrapped in a shawl talking about “knowledge paradigms” and “knowledge integrations” to a man whose body language suggests he’s either really into her or really into all that woo-woo tech talk, or maybe both . “As soon as the alcohol starts flowing, you’ll hear the libertarian talk start up,” D warns me.

As one partygoer noted, “It’s skewing a lot younger than it used to.” Photo: McGill Productions/Tom Morbey 8:38 p.m.

9:00 p.m. | I run into the tech socialite again and make a clumsy joke about coming here to find a wealthy beau. She takes me seriously: “If you want to find someone with money, it’s everyone in the fucking room. Except … some people just think they have money.” I ponder this quandary. 10:46 p.m. | Eventually, everyone starts migrating downstairs to the dance floor, because the electronic music duo Disclosure is playing an 11 o’clock set. One of the hosts, a delicious boy in a soccer jersey, bounces over to tell us how exactly they managed to swing a Disclosure performance: “We bought their NFT a couple months ago for $140,000. But then we started talking to them, and now we’re best friends.

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