Biologists Discover Roots Of Washington Monument Have Spread Over 400 Feet Underground

WASHINGTON—Calling it one of the world’s largest living organisms, biologists from Georgetown University discovered Thursday that the roots of the Washington Monument have spread over 400 feet underground.

“It appears that since first being planted, the root structure of the Monument has grown far beyond its original site and now threatens nearby structures across the National Mall,” said researcher Jana Fielding, who claims the root system has spread to cover such a large portion of the nation’s capital in order to absorb as much moisture as possible in the hot D.C. climate. “Frankly, an invasive monument like this never should have been brought to Washington.

Can anybody provide original source? Onion is just as bad.

Its all fun and games until the Washington monument bends over and it lightning comes out of the fucking thing.

THE MONUMENT MYTHOS WAS RIGHT

Liberals will believe this! 😂

What do the roots of the Obama monument look like 🤯

This is not one of the corpse flower scenarios?

Shit we have got to take this thing out before it's too late

Reverse carrot

Root cause

Biology also discovers something called GOP-rot under the tree. Deadly infectious. Hope the tree survive 😂😂

Do they trim the shaft or something?

George was a farmer, he knew his stuff.

This looks like some Lovecraftian horror type shit

It'll be alright, there are no buildings around it

This should be underground testicles.

That thing is going to be a pain to remove when it dies.

Deep state confirmed 🤯

Dig that shit up; it's outta control.

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