Biden Outlines Renewable Energy Plan To Invade Mt. Olympus And Steal Aeolus’ Bag Of Wind

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WASHINGTON—Pledging to finally end America’s reliance on fossil fuels, Biden held a press conference Friday to outline the centerpiece of his renewable energy plan to invade Mt. Olympus and steal the mythic bag of wind from the God Aeolus. “We know that climate change is real, and we must combat this existential threat by raiding the home of the ancient Gods and stealing their magical treasures,” said Biden, explaining that the fabled ox-hide bag containing the winds Boreas, Notos, and Euros would be able to power many of the administration’s proposed green energy projects. “This is only the beginning of our ambitious climate agenda, which also includes investments in solar panels jumpstarted by pilfering Helios’ golden chariot as well as exploring the feasibility of geothermal energy if we’re successfully able to kidnap Hephestus.” At press time, Biden’s energy plan had run into a snag after a crew of offshore wind farm technicians had been transformed into swine by an island sorceress. \n

WASHINGTON—Pledging to finally end America’s reliance on fossil fuels, Biden held a press conference Friday to outline the centerpiece of his renewable energy plan to invade Mt. Olympus and steal the mythic bag of wind from the God Aeolus.

“We know that climate change is real, and we must combat this existential threat by raiding the home of the ancient Gods and stealing their magical treasures,” said Biden, explaining that the fabled ox-hide bag containing the winds Boreas, Notos, and Euros would be able to power many of the administration’s proposed green energy projects.

 

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they aint gonna find it, spongebob still has it

lizgloyn Still more realistic than relying on fossil fuels

this is ethical and i approve

+1 $btc for the History major who now writes at

Why not name Hephaestus as Secretary to the Department of Energy? In reality, the bag of wind is only renewable if you can Aeolus to refill it. Hecate/Hades in 2024!

I thought that it was already stolen? britishmuseum do you have it?

Best plan I've heard from him yet.

Get the fire! prometheus

But we already have a big bag of wind at Mar-a-Lago.

Sleepy Joe doesn’t even realize that Aeolus doesn’t even live on Mt Olympus. We need a leader like Tantalus!

What's wrong with the Prometheus option?🙄 Carbon print much?

LOL, he's demented

get outta my room damnnit

Cool. New plan. Awesome!!👍👍👍

Babylon bee ass joke

Bob Barker !!!

No problem.They probably went to school together back in the day.

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