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Biden Begging Donors To Stop Sending Money So He Can Quit Race

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WASHINGTON—Imploring his supporters to relieve him of his obligations on the campaign trail, former vice president and current presidential candidate Joe Biden reportedly begged his donors Thursday to stop sending him money so he could quit the presidential race. “Look, folks, we are at an important crossroads in our bid for the nomination, and I’m asking you from the bottom of my heart to please, please stop giving to my campaign so I can just end it already,” Biden wrote in an email sent to every individual, corporation, and political action committee that has contributed to his campaign, adding that with their generous help, they could help put him out of his misery at this “crucial juncture” right before the Nevada caucus. “I’m going to be honest with you. We’re being outpaced in fundraising by the other campaigns, and that is great, because I am very, very tired and ready to admit defeat; so please, whether you have $1 or $100 to spare, don’t send either. I know I can count on you to support me as I head back into retirement and try to pretend none of this ever happened.” At press time, sources confirmed Biden began openly weeping when he received a $4 million surge in donations.

 

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cook_robert_l Another BIDEN FAKE PICTURE

Gingrich_of_PA 🤣😂

Confirmed

ThePriceSicard Hahahahaha

jvgraz The Firebird needs waxing

Geez, just get the man what he wants

“c’mon, tough guy...”

realDonaldTrump 😄

Gingrich_of_PA These people are ill. Let him go

Look, fat wallet!

BadAim2048 That would seriously be the best thing for Bernie. A lot of Biden supporters have Bernie as their second choice.

It won't be a long phone call.

As if he would turn down the money.

Send it to animal shelters....And people too...

We miss Diamond Joe

Malarkey

Presidential race? I don't care about politics, but what does it mean by 'race'? Do they run a race? That's how they do it in some of the kingdoms in my old dimension.

TBpnw

He might want to have it for his books in jail. Or possibly take care of his gson.

“This is Joe Biden you dog-faced pony-soldier. Vote for somebody else at the beep.”

that's not funny

Long live The Onion

would be a pro gamer move, join the race, get trump impeached, then drop out

have mercy on joe & send me the bens

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