WASHINGTON—Promising to assist nations that lack the bargaining power to negotiate with drug manufacturers, President Joe Biden issued assurances Monday that the United States would donate Covid vaccinations to impoverished countries as soon as officials had finished inoculating all of America’s trees.
inistration officials had walked back Biden’s statement, a concession to suburban voters clamoring for their lawns and flower beds to be vaccinated immediately.
Just give it away? What about our flowers? Are you going to ignore our shrubs? Suppose my petunias sneeze on my neighbor ,then what? You politicians make me so mad I could squeeze a grape! ( but I won’t cause I’m afraid of the purple plague).
Tired of real life imitating your headlines, huh? Dreamt this one up thinking 'Okay now this one literally CAN'T become real', didn't you? You're really fucking with fate here.
Also after 4weeks of the trees that refuse the jab and bark about it.
c.c. JFernandeznino CarlosDguer
TLM
Those environmentalist lobbyists have deep pockets
High fever is a covid symptom, so maybe we need to treat the earth for covid to stop global warming? 🤷♂️
Try a JohnsonJohnson on that old oak tree.
Due to climate change, it's really for the best.
', fuck you. 'The U.S. has donated approximately 140 million dose to at least 93 countries'
my lawn's on 3rd booster
In all fairness, all Biden has to do is tell the Trump Cult he’sgoing to give their vaccines to the Middle East and black people and they’ll be queuing in their thousands to get vaccinated.
As long as we get all our apes and felines done first, I say then we can help out a few other countries
never misses...
The funny part is the U.S. is sending all the less effective vaccine we don't want to other countries.
Unfortunately, millions of trees will die unless we can pass another 2 Trillion dollar Covid relief bill so we can spend 5% on the trees. “There is unrest with the forest, there is trouble with the trees.”
'But 20% of your citizens are dumb enough to drink bleach,' said 103 Billion humans living in impoverished nations in unison.
This would be funny if it wasn't true...
Thankfully Melania had ordered all trees to be cut down so there aren’t many inoculate.
Be fast with it👍
Joe Biden rolls out his 'Green New Deal'. 🤣
walkrunfly1 Elms first.
In branches
On tax payers money......worry about the U.S. I DONT see anyone helping us
If you liked this satire of US imperialism, hate vaccine apartheid, and want the pandemic to end everywhere ASAP, join the fight for global vaccine equity with peoplesvaccine uaem PIH justiceisglobal Public_Citizen HealthGAP and more!
Will it be like donating Super Bowl shirts for the team that didn't win? We will donate the vaccines that didn't cut it?
Here's a leader we always wanted!!!😍 He doesn't beat around the bush, does he?
Oh come on
Groot's years of honing his lobbying skills finally paid off
So.......... funny huh. How about China donates it all for free? Since they started this mess.
Lmao the actor looks almostlike him Thank you for the laugh
Well, with rampant deforestation, it shouldn't take long.
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