. But I’m sure any parent who’s typically the one stuck on shore with the cooler and the beach bag—shaking sand out of the shoes, readying the towels, sorting out the snacks and nagging the kids about sunscreen reapplication—as the rest of their family frolic in the water with reckless abandon will relate to how I often feel.
She’s so right—I’ve definitely been conflating being a fun parent with physical play. I’ve always considered it a bit of a personal failing that I’m so inhibited and unable to let loose when I attempt towith my two sons. My friend Sarah and her wife, who are also raising two little boys, struggle with the same awkwardness. Sarah points out that it’s probably because this kind of physical play isn’t something we learned or practised very much as girls growing up.
When McDonnell steps back from the surveys and number crunching, she thinks something else could also be going on. “Are we supposed to be enjoying parenting for our own benefit or because we think being happy, fun and silly with our kids makes us better parents?” she says. “In other words, is the focus on enjoying parenting just another obligation we’re putting on mothers?”
While it goes against my “no more multi-tasking” resolution, Douglas also suggests that for many parents, self-care isn’t going to happen unless we double up on our to-do list. For example, if you feel that gym visits eat away at the time you’d otherwise be playing with your kids, try exercising while logging quality time with your family.by going on a short hike or a family bike ride, or take the baby in a jogging stroller.
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