Ask Amy: My sister cut me from her life

She and our dad are currently feuding and because I didn’t side with her at our grandma’s funeral, she has cut me from her life.We live far away from my sister, but are planning to visit other relatives in her town soon.I really don’t want to let my sister know that we will be in town, but because of my daughter wanting to see her cousin, I feel like I should.

Your sister is also likely to hear about your local visit through other family members, and so if you contact her using a neutral tone, she can then decide how to respond. Try: “Hi, I’m letting you know that Tiff and I are planning to visit the Murray cousins next month. She is eager to see her little cousin, so let me know if that would be possible.”

If your sister is determined to continue this feud, she will do so. This is truly a case where you might be “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”No-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.Dear Amy: Often, you offer advice on how to handle a family member’s excessive drinking.

As someone who enjoys playing sports, I’ve had teaching pros tell me what to do to improve. However, for me and others the best way to learn is to see our mistakes on video. Would it be helpful if family members took video of their drunk relatives and showed them the evidence?Dear Coached: Many readers have suggested this, and yes – video evidence could be a wake-up call.

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