Ask Amy: Mother of gay son not ready for the pride parade

Dear Amy: My son “Jack” is 26 years old. Five years ago, he came out to me as gay. While this didn’t fully surprise me, it saddened me. I wanted Jack to have a traditional life. I wanted to have grandchildren.Jack has lived on his own for the past several years. Recently he told me that he has been in a relationship with “Samuel” for six months. He also asked if I would be OK with him bringing Samuel home to a family function. Not knowing how to respond, I said it was fine.

I tried to play the role of the accepting mom at the party. I’m embarrassed to talk to anyone in the family about this. My daughter seems completely fine with it. I just will never be the totally accepting mom who goes to gay pride parades with her son. Will it ever get easier?Dear Prideless: Yes, this will get easier. One way to make things easier would be for you to stop thinking of your son’s sexuality as “it,” and start thinking of his sexuality as “Jack.

You should spend more time with Jack and Samuel. Continue to “play the role of the accepting mom.” See how it feels and how others respond to you. Ask Jack if there are ways you could be a more supportive mom to him. It’s simple good manners to respect other people’s faith practices, especially while in their homes. In my opinion, this respect can be demonstrated by sitting quietly while they say a blessing, and not judging them afterward.

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