Ask Amy: I know my friend is drinking again, but she’s lying about it

Two years ago, my friend “Kim” admitted that she has cut alcohol out of her life after her brother died due to his alcoholism. I thought this was great; we have enjoyed doing things together without alcohol.

This month, Kim’s lies got bigger. When she did not return any of my text messages I again reached out to Bea. I was told that Kim had to spend 30 days in jail for her drinking episode. Kim texted me within hours of being released, saying she had to care for her ailing dad out of town. Because I was asked to keep this information confidential, I again chose to go along with Kim’s lies.Now she has informed me that she needs a ride each time we are together.

However, I do not want to go back on my word with Bea, who has asked me to keep quiet. If I approach Kim, it will be obvious the only way I found out was from her family member. Advice on how to proceed without making matters worse?“Kim” has been lying to you. And you have been lying to her. You’ve trapped yourself by approaching a third party and then agreeing to keep this quiet.

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